Feeling Better

Finally feeling better, not normal yet, but better than I have been. I don't feel as sick if I don't eat and I am not as hungry as I was the last few weeks. Which are all great things because now I wake up in the morning and I don't feel like I am going to die if I don't shove some food in my face right away!

I also have to remember, to keep drinking water. That is key to a lot of my days...I have to drink A LOT of water and not stop when I think it's okay to stop, I have to keep drinking it.

 

Now that my stomach is feeling better, my legs on the other hand are not. They start hurting when I sit at my desk and I find myself getting up at least every thirty minutes to stretch. My butt also hurts bad in my seat all day. I don't understand it...my chair used to not bother me at all. Oh the joys of pregnancy!

Diaper Bags

I have carried the same purse for about three years. Yes, three years. I am not one to spend a lot of money on a purse, I just want a nice leather one that will last me some time. I have a lot of shit that I carry around and I don't want to be changing purses all the time. I do own a lot of clutches and small crossbody's for when I go out, or WHEN I went out....but for everyday use, I have the same bag. I really should get a new one, but now all I can think about is diaper bags! It's so sad but some of them I am dying over, the price however I am not. But I figured I would have it for a long time? At least until this baby is out of diapers?

Here are some of my favorites!

(I am especially loving the Coach purple bag....and will be purchasing if this little baby is a girl)

 



Rebecca Minkoff Diaper Bag Totes · Marc by Marc Jacobs Diaper Bag Totes · Coach Diaper Bag Totes

Weight

Thinking about my own weight gain has been a little stressful. I have been eating less than healthy to keep from feeling like barfing every five minutes and I have put on some pounds. My husband says you can only tell in my stomach that I still look the same, but for me, I don't feel the same, and I feel like if this is only the first twelve weeks, how much more will I gain??

And then there are those people who make you feel bad and give your husband unrealistic expectations of what your pregnancy weight should be and what you will look like two weeks after giving birth. Those people were under weight to begin with. Weighing close to a hundred pounds soaking wet. This is not realistic when my boobs before pregnancy weighed more than her head.

Let's be honest, I am probably going to be a big fat pig, and although I am not totally okay with it, I guess I need to come to grips with reality and what could and probably will happen.

Here's to feeling and looking fat for the next few months. 

Questions

I have some questions I keep asking myself DAILY.

 

1. Should I start buying diapers if they are on sale and I have an extra coupon making them super cheap?

2. If I see items on sale for babies, should I start stocking up...wipes, shampoo, lotion?

3. How much money should I start saving a month so that I can have extra cash while on maternity leave?

4. Should I start looking into a better camera since I so heavily rely on my cell phone?

5. When should I start sharing the news we are pregnant with friends and family?

6. How am I going to pay for daycare?

7. What do I really need to register for?

8. Should I really be worrying about the weight gain as much as I do?

9. Can I eat sushi...I have been craving it!

10. CAN I HAVE JUST ONE GLASS OF WINE?



ASOS Maternity

I am LOVING ASOS Maternity clothes. I definitely need to start saving for some of these items as I get further in my pregnancy. I have very limited funds to spend on new clothing at the moment and unlike many people, I don't get anything for free....and I am truly jealous of all those ladies who get the free fashion to put on their blogs. I am no fashion blogger, but what girl wouldn't love a package of free swag on their front porch every day? Anyways....here are some of the looks I am liking.

If you are worried about sizing, here is a link to a forum that might help.

Most of the looks I like need to work for my career as well. I don't want to spend a ton of money on clothing that I can't wear from day to night or on the weekends.

 

 

 



Asos Maternity Dresses · Asos Maternity Clothes · Asos Maternity Tops

Dressing For The Job

I'm off work for a few days, thank God, and I have some time to write a few blog posts before I go finish my Christmas shopping. Something has been bothering me since I left work to go home the other day and I thought I'd share.

I work in a building that has about a thousand different companies, mostly law offices, so I am constantly surrounded by people in the lobby, elevator, coffee shop. You can't get away from anyone and you start to see the same people over and over. Some people say hello, some shake your hand, some make it a point to get to know your name, and others, those stupid assistant bitches, stare you up and down to make sure you are not betting looking or have a better designer purse than they have.

My first instinct is to stare back because these girls are so insecure that if you stare back at them they turn away real quick. But the thing is, they are staring at me, who usually wears a black suit and if I wear a skirt, it is a pencil one, not to tight that covers my knees. It's called appropriate work attire bitches. I might look a little boring, with the only pop of color coming from my statement necklace or my scarf if it's cold but I don't look like a straight up whore like you do.

Seriously, what are you thinking? I have seen summer dresses, with cut out backs, platform heels and high ponytails. Black nail polish and open toed six inch heels. Large chandelier earrings and bangles for days. Dressing like this makes everyone you encounter think you are one thing, sleeping with your boss. I know this is harsh, but let's put it in perspective. I see you working late and leaving with your male boss at night. I see you going to lunch with your male boss almost every day. I see you talking to him in the garage before you get in your car to leave. I see you, and if I see you, others see you. And I am not singling anyone out here, there are a lot of you, and frankly, I am tired of seeing your thongs stick out from your skirt and your boobs falling out of your top.

Some might ask, are you jealous? No, I'm not jealous. I will give it to some of you, your bodies are bangin! But there is a time and place to show it. Like maybe happy hour AFTER work, or weekends at the beach, or when your out to dinner with the rest of your whore friends.

Because if you really want to put it all out there, you are not respected when you dress like that, you are actually dumbing yourself down. Men who aren't trying to get in your pants no longer think you are smart, they think you are dressed inappropriately and ridiculous.

Cover up, dress for the job, it will get you farther. 

Jeans

I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl. My husband hates it, but I don't care. He would prefer me walking around wearing red dresses and looking like a whore all day, but I rarely do that, oh wait, I have never done that. He keeps asking though, I wonder if he has some porno he watches where that happens? Whatever, anyways....I prefer jeans to anything, so when I found out I was preggers, I was a little disappointed that my skinny jeans might not fit anymore! Boooooo! I had a flash back of that Sex and City episode where Miranda puts on her skinny jeans and goes to the club.

Remember this?

Well right now I can't wear my skinny jeans or go to the club, damn it.

So I have to find alternatives, maternity jeans.

 

 

 

 

1. Skinny Destroyed 2. Skinny's 3. Sexy Boot 4. Sparkle 5. Super Skinny 

 

 



Christmas Pregnant

Things I am going to miss this Christmas.

 

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Breastfeeding Blows?

I'm not even out of the first trimester and this question has already come up, by me, by my doctor and by my husband. I have done a lot of research. I realize the benefits of breastfeeding, to both mother and child. But I don't think I want to do it. Once I tell someone that, I get this weird, who the fuck do you think you are, your going to be the worst mother in the entire fucking world, and if they could, I swear they would spit on me.

But isn't it my choice? It's my child, my body, my decision....RIGHT???

Can I at least say why I don't want to do this?

First of all, I want to have a bottle when baby is having a bottle, yes I said that...I want a glass of wine when I want a fucking glass of wine, and I think that I should be able to have it at the same time the baby is eating.

Secondly, I think daddy should help with the feedings. Why should I have to feed the baby all day everyday, it's his child to.

Thirdly, I like my boobs, they are awesome, but they have always been really really really sensitive. My husband can't touch them for long, and at times they hurt very badly.

I am not saying I won't try it, but I also don't want pressure to do it and I don't want negative feedback if it doesn't work out. What if I don't produce milk? What if the baby doesn't latch on? What if the baby doesn't get enough to eat?

I just don't want this to be another stress on my life right now, so please women everywhere when someone says they aren't going to breastfeed, be okay with it, don't judge, because what I really want to do when you look at me like I have three heads is punch you in the face. 

Pregnancy Brain

It is true what they say (whoever they is) about your brain turning to complete mush when you are pregnant. I can't remember things, I can't concentrate, I spell things wrong. I have to ask questions more than once and I know it annoys other people. I even drop things, like on the regular.

Drinks, plates, glasses, they have all just slipped out of my hands, it's really weird. It's like my hands are always slippery and I can't hold onto anything! I feel like I will never be smart again. 

Scared

I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach today....a huge nasty lump in my stomach that wouldn't go away. I was worried, and maybe a little constipated, but seriously worried. I had so much anxiety. How the fuck am I going to take care of a child? Up until a month ago, I was staying up till midnight, drinking wine, watching reruns of Beverly Hills Housewives and eating cheese like it was no ones business. I went to happy hour every Friday night and drank my weight in draft beer while taking drags of my friends cigarettes. My next vacation was planned, a trip to New York that won't happen now because I will be so pregnant I won't be able to keep up with my skinny fucking friends as they run from one store to the next and drink wine in the middle of the day.

How the fuck am I going to take care of a child when I can barely take care of myself? I don't always wash my dishes. There are always clothes to clean, floors to sweep and the bed is never made. I can't balance a checkbook (well I can, I just choose not to) and I don't ever worry if I am going to be late for work because it's just me I have to get ready in the morning. I used to prefer a glass of wine with no dinner, now I think I will die unless I shove everything in my face at once. My body is going to shit and I am not as excited as I think I should be. Am I bad mother already? Are you judging me because I don't think this is all rainbows and smiles? This shit is harder than I thought, my mind is going a thousand miles a minute and I just don't know if will ever be able to do this.... 



Pregnacy Food

Seriously it pisses me off when people say well your not eating for two so you shouldn't have to eat that much more. Are you fucking kidding me? This baby, this tiny little baby in my stomach is taking all my food for itself. I am so hungry all the time. And I don't want salad or fruit or veggies, those things make me gag. I want Italian...heavy food, it makes me feel all warm inside and fills me up for more than an hour. Keep checking back, I think I might break 200 pounds by nine months.
Can't wait. 

Things I Need

Still in my first trimester, going into the second in about two weeks and hoping that will bring me some relief. My husband is getting frustrated with my exhaustion. He doesn't understand, he tries, but doesn't always like to come home to a cranky, sleeping wife who just wants him to bring her stuff.

Speaking of stuff....these items are the things I need and that keep me happy and keep me from vomiting every five minutes. Because if I don't eat, if I don't stay hydrated, I definitely feel the effects.

 

 

Water! Seriously it gets difficult to drink as much as I should be, but if I don't, I feel awful.

 

La Croix sparkling water. This is not a substitute for the real thing, but it keeps me happy with it's bubbles like Diet Coke used to. Plus it seems to settle my stomach.

 

 

This cereal satisfies my sweet tooth in the morning and keeps me full for awhile.

 

 

Yogurt with Benefiber mixed in has been a lifesaver, literally.

 

 

 

 

These have helped with my nightly leg cramps, they have seriously almost gone away!

 

 

 

The rest of my days are filled with anything I can get my hands on...soups, breads, crackers, trail mix....I eat just about everything and almost every hour because I can't let my stomach go hungry at all. I pack a huge lunch on Monday for work and it is filled with all the above and more.

And even eating everyday that much, no one at work has asked if I am pregnant, they are either being nice or they are just really clueless.