I work a big girl job, a good job, one that pays decent and allows me to have health insurance, sick time and paid vacation. I don't want to sound like I am complaining to much, but although the benefits are great, the life sucking, time consuming, headache inducing job just doesn't seem worth it at times. Let me explain my biggest annoyances.
1. I am a woman. I have a V where I should have a P if I want to get ahead in this corporate world. Some people might disagree, and I really do believe that it depends on where you work and what state you live in, but if you are where I am, and you have a vagina, you will never be more than you are right now in this moment. I am capable of more but I am never nominated for projects or client meetings because I need to stay back and answer the phone or set up coffee for visitors. Seriously? I went to college, and I bet if you asked half the people I work with, they wouldn't even know I did.
2. I will never be able to do what I really want to do. Because of the benefits, and just finding out I am with child, I feel like I have to hold on for dear life. I need to make sure I keep this job and everything that comes along with it. So I keep my mouth shut, smile and pretend this is what I want to do for the rest of my sad sad life.
3. I don't know what I really want to do. If someone can tell me, I would greatly appreciate it.
4. Drinking the Kool-Aid. I am not good at it, I don't like it, I don't want to do it. I don't believe in kissing ass or sucking up to the bosses. I believe my work should be the best indicator of what I can do. But we all know that is not the case. You must act like a kiss ass to get ahead and you must drink the Kool-Aid to get noticed. It's awful, but that's how it is.
I know I shouldn't complain, there are people out there trying hard everyday to get a job. Any job. And I am grateful for what I have, but I also know that I am not the only person who feels like this.